The women whom you have the most contact with and hang around with have either a positive or negative affect on your levels of self-esteem,mood and confidence. These women can also have a big affect on how you view your direct sales business. Most of us have girlfriends or family members that are supportive of our businesses and want nothing but the best for us. Unfortunately, too many of us have people around us that are not supportive and are always giving off negative energy. Do you have girlfriends or family members like this? How do you keep them from bringing you down?
Let's talk about those sistas who are happy, positive, supportive and joyful to be around. How do they make you feel? Yes, they make you feel the same..happy, positive, joyful and supported! They can bring excitement into a boring atmosphere and can fill the room with positive vibes that everyone can feel. These women can also make you feel great about your business, they are always cheering for you. Don't you love being around black women like that!
We also know those sistas who b*%ch about everything and seldom have positive things to say.
They never had any opportunities, they are always putting other sistas down, they don't like other black women to be successful, they are jealous and negative thinkers by nature...need I go on!
These women drain your energy and can bring you down to their level, a million mikes away from the level that YOU want to be operating on. Family members can be a lot like this but you can choose your friends, unfortunately, you can never choose your family!
So what should you do to make sure the women you hang around with empower and support what you stand for rather than bring you down all the time?
You have the power to choose who you spend your time with. Ideally you want happy, vibrant and positive people around you.
If you have good friends who are negative and yet still want to hang around them, make a point of letting them know how you feel. If they are a true friend that will respect you for this. If they are negative from time to time just acknowledge that this is what they are like and BLOCK OUT THE NEGATIVITY. Try to spend less time with them if you can.
The same can be said with family. You may find the more mature members of your family may have behaviors that have been conditioned for years and years and from different eras. Appreciate where they are coming from and as mentioned above, elicit and select the information that filters through to your brain.
Don't share everything you are doing within your business with negative women. Decide to share your business ideas, successes and failures with ONLY those friends and family members that support you. If you are around negative friends and family, just keep moving your business forward...let them witness the success as it happens.
Most importantly, remember that nothing has meaning in life except the meaning that you .
"Each person we meet is our teacher and our student"
We attract people into our lives for a reason, a season, or a lifetime, but always for a growing and learning experience. Protect your energy, spend your time with positive sistas and keep moving toward your dream.
Please share your thoughts and comments with our readers! How do YOU protect your energy and deal with black women that try to bring you down?
British,
I felt compelled to immediately respond to this post; I am experiencing this right now and have felt this way for quite some time, but have always felt as if I were overreacting or just making a mountain out of a mole hill. Thank you for bringing this issue to the forefront...
There was a time when my life was filled with failures and I had many 'friends'. Ironically, when I decided to change my life, the friends fell off and my own family began to disown me. I quickly began to realize that everything negative was being removed from my life to make room for all of the positive, wonderful things that were to come. I cry as I am writing this post- not because I'm sad or regret anything that has happened, but because it is so LIBERATING to be able to share this with someone else who understands.
You see, when our Heavenly Father gives you a vision, that vision is for you and no one else. Others ARE NOT going to understand, unless they are like-minded and have similar goals and dreams. I was surrounded by people who were not willing to change or step out of the box to do better for themselves. I challeged myself to do this and realized I had to leave those people in the past. I was instantly perceived as 'thinking I was too good for anyone', when I fact I was choosing to not be surrounded by negative energy.
It used to bother me that I could not find support with the Black women who I would see everyday- the ones who I cared about the most. I stopped stressing over all of this when the seed of entrepreneurship was planted in me. Even though my business is still in the seed stages, I am being connected to like-minded women who have similar goals and dreams, who are willing to step outside the box, and most importantly, are willing to share their expertise and insight to help others! I've been led to new family and friends! How can you be jealous or envious of someone when they have been called to help others? I'll tell you how- here's a concept that was recently revealed to me that I would like to share with everyone:
Altruistic Joy- A habit of rejoicing in the happiness and success of others. This is a good remedy for ill-will towards others.
I have long been practicing this habit, even though I didn't realize it had a name. I have come to know and understand that people who have the habit of practicing altruistic joy focus their mind on happiness and success, consequently attracting these two things into their own life. In contrast, when we have ill-will towards others, we attract more of these same types of negative situations into our own life. We cannot achieve happiness by inflicting or even wishing unhappiness onto others. We can only achieve happiness by giving happiness to others, and sharing in their happiness.
With all that said, I wish only the best for those who have disowned me and continue to have ill-will towards me. The most awesome thing is, it's the perfect set-up for my Heavenly Father to get ALL of the glory- no one else can claim any credit for the great things that are happening in my life!
British, thank you so much for everything you do. I think of you as a sister and mentor, and have truly been inspired by your work. I am looking forward to joining your community and meeting all of my other sisters.
I love you all...
~Mashal
Mashal...thank you so much for your outstanding comment! You are living your life and doing some amazing things..own your own terms. Thank for teaching about Altruistic Joy...so true"-)
Congratulations on moving forward, fearlessly and determined...away from the negative people. You are right, no one can claim your success but you and God above!
To your life Mashal, you go girl!!
British
What an excellent article!!!
I am presently grieving over friendships I have had to distance myself from because of negativity. It's a difficult process but I am blessed because as I move forward I am meeting other motivated women like myself who are determined to achieve their goals.
Thank you, British!
Bonita Schrader
http://www.LiveTotalWellness.com/Bonita
Bonita,
I am proud of you for moving forward, your success is inevitable! I'm happy you enjoyed this article and I hope it helps you through the process.
British
The women whom you have the most contact with and hang around with have either a positive or negative affect on your levels of self-esteem,mood and confidence. These women can also have a big affect on how you view your direct sales business. Most of us have girlfriends or family members that are supportive of our businesses and want nothing but the best for us. Unfortunately, too many of us have people around us that are not supportive and are always giving off negative energy. Do you have girlfriends or family members like this? How do you keep them from bringing you down?
